continued
from November Newsletter...
Marriage Service
The ceremony, lasting about forty-five minutes to one hour, may
be performed in both Greek and English, in whatever combination is
comfortable for the couple and the priest. However, the content and
wording cannot be changed in any way. Modern "I do" vows are not
part of the service and cannot be added. Neither can phrases be
eliminated. Couples concerned about the wording, "Wives, be subject
to your husbands," should understand that this is the Orthodox
approach to marriage. According to church doctrine, the husband is
the head of the household, but the mother has a revered position as
the cornerstone of the family and is responsible for maintaining the
family unit. According to a popular folk custom, if the bride can
step on the groom's foot first while this passage is being read, she
will be the head of the house!
Wedding Program
A printed program that
explains the Orthodox service is very helpful to your guests. You
may reprint the "Sacrament of Marriage" in this chapter or ask your
priest to supply text. Also include in the program the names of the
bride and groom, the date, time and place, the name of the priest,
names and titles of the wedding party, and special performers such
as musicians.
Music
The church likes to
maintain a Greek Orthodox atmosphere throughout the ceremony. It
requires, for example, that only the chanter provide responses to
the priest. Any singers other than the chanter and any instruments
other than the organ can be used only with permission of the
diocesan bishop. It has become acceptable to play appropriate,
non-Orthodox music while the guests arrive, during the wedding party
entrance, and as the guests leave.
Church Decorations
Consult your priest about placement of flower arrangements and other
decorations. The table with the stéphana, arranged by the
priest, is the focal point. You may also want to consider using a
decoration common in Greece: two candles joined with fabric to
symbolize the uniting of the man and the woman. Place a large candle
stand with lighted candles behind and on either side of the small
stéphana table. Connect the two candles with a large white
drapery and have a young child stand by each one throughout the
ceremony. The bride keeps the material and may have it made into a
dress, tablecloth, or any item she chooses.
Communion
It is suggested the couple take communion the Sunday before the
wedding, each in his or her respective church if one of the partners
is not Orthodox. Communion is not given during the ceremony. The
bride and groom drink wine from a common cup to commemorate the
Biblical wedding in Cana.
Wedding Bed and Shaving the Groom
If convenient, single women friends of the bride (often the
bridesmaids) prepare the wedding bed. An old custom is to roll a
young child on the bed and then scatter kouféta, rice, and
money on the top for wishes of fertility and good fortune. In some
small Greek villages, the marriage bed is decorated and paraded
around the village before the ceremony. In Cyprus, the groom's face
is ritually shaved in his house by the other groomsmen on the day of
the wedding.
Wedding Reception
Delicious food, a table laden with sweets, bouzouki music, and
lines of laughing dancers complete the day. Most wedding receptions
are a combination of American and Greek food, music, and dancing.
The music alternates between modern American songs current Greek pop
favorites, and folk music for dances like the hasápiko and
kalamatianós. Traditionally the Greek dancing begins with the
bride leading a kalamatianós (if she wishes) with her husband
next in line. Then the family members and close friends take turns
"dancing the bride" by assuming the lead at the head of the line,
starting with the father. The most popular wedding song is "Oréa
ine i Nyfi Mas" ("Beautiful is our Bride"). In addition to
the wedding cake, it is customary to have an assortment of Greek
sweets including baklavá and kourabiéthes. Be sure to
have the priest bless the food before eating. Add whatever American
customs you wish --such as a receiving line, toasts by the best man
and and maid of honor, tossing the bride's bouquet --and enjoy!
to be continued...
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